I’m in a little village at the foothills of the Himalayas right now. I cannot tell you how lovely it is here. The mountains radiate calm and serenity. The air is clean and perfumed. The pine trees are tall, dark and perfect. I’ve been here for about two weeks and all I’ve done is brood over death and loss and decay.
The new moon in Scorpio was in my eighth and the themes of this sign and house permeated this time for me. Perhaps not surprisingly because we came here to visit family and found illness, old age, a wounded beloved dog and vandalism to the place my husband calls home. But even before that, even before travelling, I worried about the safety of the cat I was leaving behind, my parents who are abroad, our journey through the mountain roads.
We were walking home this evening, having bought black cardamom to help my sister-in-law’s nausea, when we passed this tiny road-side shrine. I saw a boy tending it the other day and today there was a flame lit. ‘Jot’ the Punjabis call it. And all I could think was, “I know what you are trying to tell me! This is a world of impermanence.” I was bitter because I knew time would rob me of the people I love because they are aging, they are sick, their bodies are failing. This is so not me. I have always been about faith and prayer and belief in God. But we lose our innocence with time because we know that eventually no prayer helps, that faith is wasted, that people we love will die, things we love will decay. Nothing can stop it.
But Scorpio is always about transformation and it also about regeneration. I’ve spent some of this evening reading Jessica’s articles of the eighth house and our ancestors: http://www.moonkissd.com/2011/11/01/the-eighth-house-the-ancestral-legacy-part-1/ And an article written by Patricia Walsh on a similar theme: http://www.healthepast.com/id6.html Perhaps, it was this and perhaps it was Mercury and Venus finally moving to Sagittarius, but I came out today of that gloomy subterranean place I had been wandering in for so many days.
Yes, there is loss. My dear friend Elisa put it beautifully when she said, “What I know is that contemplation of inevitable impermanence is lifelong contemplation. Unlike some ideas we assimilate rather quickly.” So this is a world of impermanence but we can love what we have now, those we have now. And even though it will all decay in time, we can still build with love and passion. And tend and nurture and protect and guard. We’re alive now, the living legacies of hundreds and hundreds of people who came before us. Here we are trailing love and sorrow, triumphs and tragedies in a blaze of living light as our ancestors, who have long departed, watch us. As we will, perhaps, watch the living legacies we leave behind. It doesn’t end. Life creates life and we live on in our children, in our work, in the memories of those we loved and those who loved us. And that is the return to innocence.
gorgeous!
Thanks. It was strange to be there: surrounded by so much beauty and yet so aware of death.
Beautiful and moving–and strangely comforting to know that others are contemplating these things, and feeling that bottomless sorrow, too. It sounds like you are in a tremendously interesting part of the world, where life and death run very close to the surface of things–I trust I will come to such a spot at the right moment (of course, that could be anywhere!)
Thank you for a lovely post
xo
jd
Oh, JD, since I was on holiday I had time to read the papers and read news articles on the Net and that made it even worse. It’s a sad and scary world we live in.
Wonderful post. I find myself contemplating the same issues halfway across the world, and through much different circumstances. Namaste.
Sending you love, Fran, and thank you for your kind words.
Great writing as alway !! yesterday , and even thoughts of today that relate to the past and heritage do not matter anymore in this new shift…the only thing that matters is now…gratitude and apprecitation, being conscious that we are all one, therefore ..one family..and striving to be happy and of service … and confident that sticking to what we enjoy doing and being …we can’t go wrong 😉 it has been a big scorpio ride…lots of transformation..but … needed , to transcend to new stuff…be well !!!xxx
I too have been lost in a season of grief after losing several family members this year.
Oh, Z, sending you much love. xxx
luveed my visit to Kulu Manail…such a sweet part of Gaia
If you’re ever in Bangalore, Mr. Marshall, do get in touch.