Archive for June 30th, 2009

Scene 1: The world waits with baited breath for the Uranus Retrograde on 1-July-2009 and Saturn, editor-in-chief, call in Mercury.

Saturn: You wanted to do a piece on Uranus, right? Well, it’s stationing ready to go retrograde tomorrow. Go get a story. 

Mercury: Yeah, Chief, right. I’ve been thinking about Uranus a lot. Also the Moon, I mean the Sun’s in Cancer and the time’s ripe for… 

Saturn: Stop waving your hands like that, it’s giving me a headache. What do you mean, the Moon? I called you in here to talk about Uranus. It’s big news right now and we need the blog hits.

Mercury: Blog hits, right! I was looking at the stats and… *knocks over the inkstand in his excitement*

Saturn: Out! This minute! And I want the story in today!


 Scene 2:  Mercury is sharpening pencils, talking to his office buddies, checking his e-mail, Facebook and Twitter accounts while searching online for Uranus’s current address.

Venus: So why did the Big Guy call you in? He’s so hot. Power is such an aphrodisiac. *sighs*

Mercury: Mr. I’ve-got-a-steel-rod-up-my-you-know-what wants a story on Uranus. Uranus, I tell you! Hey! Did anyone ever notice “Uranus” can be broken into “your anus?”

*Pluto, who’s been brooding quietly at his computer screen, looks up at this, his eyes shining with a dark light*

Mars: *leering at Venus* Give it to me, baby! 

Mercury: I need to do this today! Anyone know where Uranus is? Guys, just focus for a minute!

Moon: *hurt* Why are you yelling? It’s upsetting. 

Chiron: Here, sweetie, sniff my lavender handkerchief, you’ll feel better.

Sun: The Uranus retro is a headlines story right now. Why’d he ask you to do it? *glowers jealously at Mercury*

Neptune: *trails in wafting Chanel No. 5 and lavender chiffon* Hi, darlings. What a lovely day! The sun is out, the breeze is blowing and I’ve been having the most far-out dreams. In fact, I was just telling Uranus…

Mercury: Uranus? You know where he is?

Neptune: Why, certainly, darling. We’re in mutual reception at the moment, you know.

Mercury takes the address, gathers his pencils, his Dictaphone and rushes out of the door.


Scene 3: Uranus’ study-laboratory. Mercury is sitting perched on the edge of a chair over-flowing with books, papers and a house-cat. His host is busy running numbers on his computer and dashing around the room connecting various mysterious devices into plug-points.

Mercury: So, thanks for seeing me. I know you’re busy and all…

There’s a minor explosion from one of the devises, Mercury jumps. The cat sleeps on undisturbed.

Uranus: Damn! Gave it too much juice! Double damn!

Mercury: It must be because of the station. I was reading how stationing planets become very powerful.

Uranus is not listening; he is too busy trying to prevent a fire from breaking out in his house. Mercury takes out his Dictaphone and starts following Uranus around the room.

Mercury: So, like I told you over the phone, my editor wants me to do a piece on you and I was wondering if you could tell me what you’re doing with all these gizmos right now. *shoves the mike under Uranus’ nose*

Uranus: *blinks at the mike and notices the bright-eyed reporter for the first time* By thunder! Where did you spring from?

Mercury: *undaunted* I’m doing a story on you, remember? So what you upto here?

Uranus: THE IDEA: About 10:45 PM Calgary, Canada

Take note of that. I’m too busy right now to stop and explain, but…

I think I’ve had a moment of utter brilliance, and it is no mistake that you are here for it.

I believe I’ve just had a gigantic intuitive leap (backed by logic). I think I’ve figured out a very cunning way to benefit you, to (potentially greatly) benefit myself, and generally raise the good karma level for all of us. All with a simple series of actions.

Expect to see the first results on your end Friday. Goodbye! **

Mercury: Okay, got that. I need more information on…

Uranus: Can’t now. Busy! Busy!

There’s another explosion. So loud that even the Uranus-immune cat wakes up. Seeing that he has lost his host’s attention, Mercury stuffs the Dictaphone back into his bag and sees himself out muttering under his breath about weird Uranian types and hardnosed Saturn-ruled editors.  


Scene 4: Mercury is back in office and frantically reading Erin Sullivan’s Retrograde Planets: Traversing the Inner Landscape when his phone rings:

Mercury: *while still reading the book* Yeah, ‘sup?

Saturn: I hope the article’s ready. I want to take a look at it before it goes to the press. You have 15 minutes.

Mercury: Yeah, it’s all done. I was just checking for typos and… *Saturn’s disconnected the call*

Mercury thumbs through the rest of the book, switches on the Dictaphone, starts typing while simultaneously calling Jupiter to see if they’re still meeting in the evening for a drink. Fifteen minutes later, in Saturn’s office:

Saturn: Odd. Very odd. What’s the big surprise he’s talking about?   

Mercury: We’ll find out Friday, sir.

Saturn: Hmm. Make sure you cover that story. See if you can get an exclusive.

The scene fades with Saturn anticipating being the first to break the story and raking in the hits, and the exhausted Mercury nodding in distracted agreement.


**Input on the Uranus state-of-mind from Matthew Currie.

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Uranus SR

I cannot sleep
And when I do
I wake up
From neon-lit
Uranian dreams.

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Do you have natal Neptune aspecting any of your personal planets in your chart? Or, since transiting Neptune is at 26 degree of Aquarius right now, do you have any personal planets in the last 10 degrees of the fixed signs? If you do, has deception been a theme in your life? Because, among other things, Neptune rules deceit and self-deception.

Not that Neptunians mind being deceived or, on some occasions, deceiving others. Deceit with Neptune and Pisces is not a focused, cold strategic ploy like it would be with Scorpio or Capricorn if they chose to walk on the dark side. It’s usually something they drift into because they want to help someone, spare someone’s feelings or prevent others from looking too deeply into their rather messy minds. And their minds are a bit messy because they knit all these fantasies around what’s happening: there’s that pink thread for how they want to see things, the lilac for how they wish things were, the yellow for Pollyanna optimism, the white is there representing what they’ve convinced themselves is the truth, the black for the blinkers that make them feel safe, the gray for the polite mask they are loathe to remove. So what is the truth?  Who knows? They certainly don’t after a while. 

They’re like a cute little kitten playing with balls of yarn. Except they tend to get rather badly trapped in all those threads and then mew piteously for someone (usually God and the Universe) to get them out of the colorful web of truth, half-truths and outright lies.

I’ve been so busy looking at other people’s charts in the recent past that I haven’t looked at mine at all and have rather belatedly realized that if transiting Neptune moves one degree forward, it will exactly square my moon. The aspect is almost as good as exact. What brought my attention swinging to this was the fact that I’ve been feeling very deceived by people I’m fond of. These include the people who work in my home. Things keep disappearing and mostly I’m okay with it. They way I it figure is, they wouldn’t steal if they didn’t need it so badly. So I’ve been tacitly aiding and abetting this by pretending not to notice. But I’m married to a Scorpio: you ever tried pulling a fast one on them?

I’m fine with someone taking from me as long as they are subtle about it and leave enough for me. But my domestic pilferer has become bold and sh*t has hit the fan. So, we’re all in deep disgrace with the grim Scorpion. An unpleasant situation for all of us. So what’s the point of this very Neptunian rambling? It was all my fault! Instead of letting it slide, I should have nipped it in the bud. There are other ways of helping people instead of teaching them “theft is good and theft is fine and your chicken tastes so great.”

I know, I know. It looks bad for me. So I’ve been thinking about what to do, how to deal with things like this. And so if you’re a fish or strongly Neptune-ruled, listen up. Purity of intent. That’s a sure-fire antidote to this Neptunian fog. Just be clear about what you’re doing and why you’re doing it and for God’s sake, be honest and allow others to be honest. And instead of going all hazy-eyed when someone is lying to you, just say (gently, softly, politely like you prefer), “I smell something fishy here.” And if you can do that, demand the truth from yourself and from others, then you can have a nice old game with balls of yarn without becoming disastrously trapped.

So, there, I’m all done. A stern talking to was needed: check. A good look in the mirror: check. But, really, we’re not that messed up, are we? Since I’m a fellow Neptunian like you, we might have a hard time being objective about ourselves and may keep wondering why people look at us with thinly veiled pity. So sometimes, another perspective doesn’t hurt. Why not ask those clear-eyed Virgos what they think or, better yet, let Matthew Currie tell you: http://matthewastrology.blogspot.com/2009/06/pisces-shamwow-of-zodiac.html

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