Archive for July 6th, 2009

I’m just standing here quietly,
Watching the dust settle down.
If you wanted to know,
this is what I’m doing:
I’m standing quietly
with everything lying shattered around me.

I’m not crying now.
I cried before when I thought
it was going to shatter,
to collapse in a heap.

Now I’m just picking my way
through the rubble.
There, in running colors,
lies my dream.
Here, shattered like terracotta,
lies my wish.

No point collecting souvenirs.
It would be ghoulish,
like collecting souvenirs
outside an old concentration camp.

I’ll just sweep it all in a neat pile
and throw it on the rubbish heap.
It will be removed soon enough,
leaving the earth bare, clean.

Oh! What is this?
Oh! How sweet, how dear:
a piece of my heart.
I think I’ll take this,
I’ll reclaim it, the poor dear!

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“Alas, Madame, he will not write. ‘Tis not in his nature to be so communicative. His Mercury conjuncts his Saturn: he is a man of very few words.”

“But what of the weeks he did write, sir?”

“He strayed. But, pray, remember: he wasn’t at all indiscreet. He didn’t cast out any lures or hold any hopes for you.”

“He amused himself and then cast me aside?”

“He told you himself he was known to be heartless.”

“He mentioned his heart to me.”

“You found him at a low moment. He was weak for a while. He is not often weak.”

“And I’m not a beauty enough to tempt him?”

“Alas, no. You are no great beauty. But if you had possessed his heart, what would you do with it?

Ah, your silence tells me you merely wished to conquer there. It is because he is difficult that you pursue him. Plague him no more. Leave him in peace.”

“For those moments he wanted me.”

“Contrive, if you can, to remember that and forget him. You will get no more from him now. His need for you is gone.”

“He is happy elsewhere then?”

“He is elsewhere, certainly. And you do not affect his happiness or unhappiness in any way. And, you well know, he would be a fool to expect any joy from you.”

“Oh, to be cast aside so! The humiliation!”

“He is bound to keep the fact to himself. It is his and yours. Let him, if he will, smile upon it. It does no man harm to think he is loved.”

“I do love him, then?”

“Your heart, Madame, while passionate is also changeable. You have loved him, certainly. But that he will always have your love is in the laps of the Gods.”

“He hasn’t cared!”

“He hasn’t really known. There were too many Neptune squares. Let that console you as you contrive to replace him in your affections.”

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