Like a lot of the astrological world, I was waiting and watching to see what the 22-July solar eclipse would bring. I didn’t speak or write about it because the degree at which it occurred, 29 Cancer, was powerfully impacted in my chart and the charts of a few people close to me. I was deeply concerned and so I was quiet about it. To quote my friend Raphael Simons, an astrologer, “An eclipse isn’t a cat waiting to pounce on you.” He said this in a humorous context, but it brings to mind another thing. The effect of an eclipse can be felt a bit before and after it happens. So, it ain’t over till it’s over. If you are interested in eclipses and how they affect your chart, my friend April Elliott Kent is the eclipse specialist.
For me the eclipse occurred as I was going to work and it wasn’t visible over my city. After that, I didn’t give it much thought till I got home. And that day, after a long time, I went back to my first love. I wrote…in a book…with a pen. And since that piece of writing wasn’t connected with work or written for this blog, I could just let ‘er rip! And I did. A lot of things that had been bogging me down cleared up as I wrote. I mention this because, as it turns out, these issues were connected with the eclipse and how it affected my natal chart.
The eclipse was three degrees away from my natal Saturn in the fifth house. In my chart, Saturn rules the eleventh house. Lately, issues connected with both these houses have been at the forefront of my mind. The fifth rules what you do for fun: for me it’s this blog and some non-astrological writing I do. The eleventh rules your friends. And Saturn is associated with one’s responsibilities and one’s career.
Having a full-time job and running a home doesn’t leave much time to write, not even a blog post. Not if you want to do justice to it. So I’ve been feeling pretty awful about that. I put a lot of myself into my job, so there isn’t much of me left when I come home. And writing a decent post, free of typos and bizarre sentence constructions requires focus. I’ve been finding it exhausting to do both.
I also love reading: astrology, fiction, psychology, historicals, romances, humor, poetry. Anthony Burgess, the English writer, used to do book reviews. I always thought that was such a cool job, being paid to read! An editor with whom I’ve worked with for the past eight years recently gave me an opportunity to review books. That kind of writing is very deadline driven and you’ve got be organized if you want to do it. I always end up trying to finish my reviews at the last possible minute. That eats into my weekends and I have to forego social plans because of it. It’s very depressing sitting at home on Sunday evenings trying to finish a writing assignment when you could have been out on the town having a drink or watching a movie.
The previous two paragraphs are about fifth house issues. Since the eclipse was conjunct the ruler of the eleventh, it also touched upon an eleventh house issue: my friends. Of late, I’ve been feeling a bit alienated where they are concerned because I’m crazy deep in love with astrology and they’re just your normal nice people who know what their sun signs are and that’s more than enough for them. And these days, my head is always buzzing with either astrology or a book review I’m doing. So I try and not talk too much about these subjects while at the same time pretending to be interested in a new recipe or a new nail color that’s all the rage. I can do fake only for so long, so I’ve been avoiding our lunches. Not an ideal solution and not one that made me happy.
To go back to the eclipse: For me, the immediate effect of the eclipse wasn’t dramatic at all. As I sat writing in my book, I realized that I was working because I wanted to. I can quote a lot of practical reasons about why I should work and they’d all be true, as well. But I’ve realized one thing recently; we only do what we want to. We can justify the choices later by saying we had to do this or that, but it’s really because we’re driven to do some things. Once that was clear in my head, I was grateful: about my work, about my friends. Because the truth of the matter is that I’m choosing to work, I’m choosing to be with these friends. That same evening, I called one of them and told her how much I value her presence in my life. And that, even though, we would always differ on certain things, it was all right. Our talk cheered us both and I know my relationship with her will be more joyful because of it.
I also look at people’s palms or charts for fun. I clearly tell them at the start that I am no expert. I enjoy it and it’s great learning. But lately, I’ve promised more than I can or want to deliver and everything that is supposed to be fun has become a chore. I haven’t done any focused reading or looked at a chart or even written on my blog. Worse, I’ve been feeling that my job is not allowing me to write as much as I want to.
You have to work at having fun and being a friend when Saturn touches the fifth and the eleventh. I decided that I would have to forego a little fun (it’s Saturn, what do you expect?). So, although I started writing this post on the evening of the eclipse, it’s today that I’ve found the time to finish it. I know I’ll be posting less frequently in the future, but I’ve made my peace with it. Partly, because I need to get more structured about how I’m learning astrology. Instead of hopping around like a grasshopper on speed on the Net and randomly dipping into books, I need to go back to some of the books I read years ago and this time learn what they’re teaching. And apply what I’m learning, so that I can understand, retain and use that learning in the future. I see years of study stretching in front of me before I can ascend to the title of “astrologer”.
But, you know what? That’s okay, too. Since I’ve become reconciled to this fact, I no longer resent my job which is very rewarding in many ways. I’ve also realized that friendships sometimes ask for some sacrifice of the self. And if your friends matters to you, it’s a worthwhile investment of yourself and your time. So, I’ll be curtailing and structuring my fifth house activities thus consciously choosing to live out my Saturn there. Because this is the only way I can get any joy from what I want and like to do. While this is the course I charted during the eclipse period, my friend and fellow blogger Hitch has charted one that is related but parallel to mine. Go, Hitch!
Oh, what a depressing post this has turned out to be! Things got a bit Saturnine there. But having bowed before Saturn, I can now move on to other happier things. I just finished reading Matthew Currie’s second book from the terrific Conquer the Universe With Astrology series and you’ll be seeing a post about that soon. Also one about Leo: that ought to brighten up things a bit! I’m also working on a special piece about astrology and astrologers and, Saturn willing, that’ll see the light of day soon, I hope!
By the way, check out Raphael’s post on this eclipse and how it affects different countries. It’s a great read:
P.S. How was the eclipse for you?