Interviewer: So, what are your thoughts on all the hype surrounding the impending Jupiter-Neptune conjunction?
Astrologer: Blown out of proportion if you ask me!
Astrologer 1: I can’t tell the people I love that I love them and I can’t tell people I intensely dislike what I feel about them, either.
Astrologer 2: And your Moon’s in Scorpio? How odd!
Astrologer to bartender: These Venus-Neptune types, they think every man who walks through the door might be the man who changes their life.
Man: Elise, you know you got to watch that Neptune conjunction to your ASC. People think you’re a flake.
Woman: Really? I hadn’t noticed.
Bartender to Man: You guys broke up? But you said she was your soulmate!
Tropical Astrologer: I caught her cheating on me with sidereal astrology!
Astrologer to friend: I had to hit him! He sneered at my Mars-Sun-Moon T-Square. Sneered, I tell you. These Mercury-Mars types, an annoying bunch, I tell you. Annoying!
Overheard: Who does she think she is trying to wow everyone with that overblown Sun- conjunct-Jupiter personality of hers? And did you notice her Mars contacts her Neptune. ::sniffs disdainfully:: I wouldn’t be surprised if she drank. ::shakes head::
Friend 1: Hey, why so blue?
Friend 2: ::sigh:: Saturn’s transiting my second house.
Friend 1: You think that’s bad? You have no idea what that Saturn-Pluto is doing to me! Man, I’ve been trying to put on a brave face and all, but…
Friend 1: Want to go to the bar?
Friend 2: Yeah, let’s get wasted!
A: Four: one to read the manual, one to inspect the quality, one to screw it in, and one to oversee that it’s screwed in properly.*