Humor: Astrologers in love

• If the horary doesn’t say what you want it to, you change the house that signifies them.
• You sigh over the conjunctions and gloss over the squares.
• Ptolemaic aspects are obviously not enough; you also look at parallels, asteroids, Arabic parts and anything else you have ever heard of.
• Not only do you remember their major planetary degrees, you also know their cusps by heart.
• You think south node conjunctions indicate that it was meant to be. You also think this about anything else that catches your fancy.
• If you don’t have their verified time of birth, you’re willing to devote a lifetime to learn rectification, so that you can finally do their chart. 
• If you meet someone who shares the same degree as their sun, you are instantly prepared to like this person. But only after you find out their sun degree.
• You cast an event chart of the time they asked you to pass the salt.
• You play soppy love songs as you pour over synastry aspect grids.
• When you encounter a new astrological theory that indicates strong synastry between you, you’re more likely to think that there is merit in it. Merit? Huh! It’s a work of genius!
• You don’t think they’re capable of lies and deceit, you think it’s because your charts have hard Neptune contacts.
• You’re blinded by the Venus-Mars contacts and brush the other aspects under the carpet.
• You spiral into self-pity because of your Venus placement. If only your Venus was better placed, they’d love you more.
• You do progressions and figure that in, say, 40 years their progressed chart will find your progressed chart irresistible.

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