If the horary doesn’t say what you want it to, you change the house that signifies them.
- You sigh over the conjunctions and gloss over the squares.
- Ptolemaic aspects are obviously not enough; you also look at parallels, asteroids, Arabic parts and anything else you have ever heard of.
- Not only do you remember their major planetary degrees, you also know their cusps by heart.
- You think south node conjunctions indicate that it was meant to be. You also think this about anything else that catches your fancy.
- If you don’t have their verified time of birth, you’re willing to devote a lifetime to learn rectification, so that you can finally do their chart.
- If you meet someone who shares the same degree as their sun, you are instantly prepared to like this person. But only after you find out their sun degree.
- You cast an event chart of the time they asked you to pass the salt.
- You play soppy love songs as you pour over synastry aspect grids.
- When you encounter a new astrological theory that indicates strong synastry between you, you’re more likely to think that there is merit in it. Merit? Huh! It’s a work of genius!
- You don’t think they’re capable of lies and deceit, you think it’s because your charts have hard Neptune contacts.
- You’re blinded by the Venus-Mars contacts and brush the other aspects under the carpet.
- You spiral into self-pity because of your Venus placement. If only your Venus was better placed, they’d love you more.
- You do progressions and figure that in, say, 40 years their progressed chart will find your progressed chart irresistible.
Humor: Astrologers in love
February 6, 2010 by Neeti
Neeti – Your post made me laugh. So sadly true and yet so funny. Years ago, when I was just a love starved youngster, I remember frantically consulting my ephemeris hoping to discover the soul connections that would confirm that “HE” (whomever he happened to be at the time) was “The One” for me. Of course, I have my natal Sun/Venus/North Node conjunct in Libra opposite my 8th house Lilith/South Node conjunction, so you get the picture. Back then, almost everyone I dated shared a strong South Node connection with me. That combined with my seriously afflicted 5th house Moon made for some pretty interesting romantic dramas. When I finally started dating my husband (20+ years ago), friends would often remark how surprised they were since he didn’t seem to be my “type” – Amen to that!
I just subscribed to your blog and I’m glad I did. This was hilarious and very timely with Valentine’s Day just around the corner! Thanks.
Hi LB: Those south node conjunctions, though… And the Neptune contacts and the Venus-Mars… They’re all grand and so much fun 🙂
My husband’s Moon conjuncts my IC: when I see him, I’m home.
And thank you for subscribing!
Ha, NRay, liked this, it is funny and scary, as there is hardly time enough left to keep the relationship going!:)
Hi Marga, I was reading this earlier: http://www.katsandogz.com/onlove.html
ahahah I loved this, it’s so true and I think I did most of those *blush*
You’re not alone 🙂
…so you were spying on me…how’d you get in? (big wink) You are so great, thanks for sharing
LOL! Good one! Clever girl…:-)
Hey! I didn’t know you were into astrology! Love your photo blog.
Amazing, i’m guilty as charged. Oooh south node, oohh Pluto/Venus, rearranging birth times for lunar, solar, and venus returns, event charts for everything, OMG the vertex! Hahahaha!
ya! used to work at Astrolabe (Solar Fire) fr 10 yrs. so when you commented on my photo blog and i followed the link, i was like “what a co-winky-dink! who knew?” 🙂
it must a a sign. 🙂
Oh, my! I just bought Solar Fire. Had it shipped all the way to India.
Yours is one of the two non-astrology blogs I follow. I don’t even remember how I found it, it must have been a suggested WordPress link. And you’re right this is a startling coincidence! Very nice to meet you! 🙂
HILARIOUS
My favorite:
“You do progressions and figure that in, say, 40 years their progressed chart will find your progressed chart irresistible.”
[…] Another funny blogger is Neeti Ray of Astrology Expressed. Even when we’re trying to be humorous, we astrologrs often miss the mark, but not Neeti. Here are some gems from her hilarious—but all too accurate—post, Humor: Astrologers in love: […]
that quote — It’s true… Astrologers are usually the stuffiest lot around! They take themselves so seriously. Go neeray go.
[…] cusp, I can get carried away with casting an event chart whenever I meet a new guy (see also: Astrologers in Love). But, when I returned home, I couldn’t wait to cast an event chart for my first political […]
[…] cusp, I can get carried away with casting an event chart whenever I meet a new guy (see also: Astrologers in Love). But, when I returned home, I couldn’t wait to cast an event chart for my first political […]
[…] Neeti Ray of Astrology Expressed specializes in funny and creative takes on astrology. Even when we’re trying to be humorous, we astrologers often miss the mark, but not Neeti. Her contribution for National Astrology Month is Random Funny Astrology Bits. Here are some gems from her hilarious—but all too accurate—post, Humor: Astrologers in love: […]
This is the funniest: You cast an event chart of the time they asked you to pass the salt.
LOL
There are just so many options for the astrologer… Personally I would look for a stellium (preferably with a sun-venus conjunction) in the seventh house of the composite chart.
Actually I AM looking for that. 🙂