Random Funny Astrology Bits

 

Mars in the Third needs to be heard!

A friend of mine said to me that he and I get our wires crossed a bit because we live on opposite ends of the planet. There is so much that divides us from other people: nationality, religion, education, interests, socio-economic levels and morality. For me, personally, the greatest divide that separates me from others is a differing sense of humor. Something happened the other day and I rushed to tell a friend because she would get the symbolism. She did. But she didn’t enjoy the irony and, for me, that killed the pleasure of sharing it with her.

My beloved Donna Cunningham tells me that April 2010, is the National Humor Month and a good time to write an astrology post lit up with humor. When I first heard about it, I decided not to do it. Low energy level and exhaustion are such party poopers. But even as I thought about it, I remembered all the funny astro bits I have been saving up. This seemed like a perfect time to post them. If you are reading this, you may not like them because they are rather trivial. They might even offend the purists amongst you. But I put them down here, nevertheless, for those who like a joke. And I put them down here without any malice or desire to offend. So here you go, my random funny astro bits:

*Differing sense of humor is an unbridgeable gap that divides ordinary humans. Amongst astrologers, it’s the house system they use.

 *Juila Roberts gets more hits on my blog in a day than I get in a year.

 *A Mercury-in-Capricorn writer on a word with many meanings: The definition is squishy. It all depends on the context that it’s used. I guess. You guess. The reader guesses. I prefer my words to stand on their own two feet. Thank you very much.

*Whenever I see the Moon is void of course, I sing this to the tune of the Mister Ed theme song:

The moon is void of course, of course,

and no one can talk to the moon, of course

      

 

 

 

 

 

 

Moon in Cancer is touchy!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

        

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*An amateur astro-loving friend wrote this to me: I have a huge ass because of that Venus-Jupiter thing.

 *One astrologer telling another about a new crush: No, no, he isn’t an astrologer, he’s a human.

 *What mommy astrologer says to baby astrologer to get him to sleep at night: Behave! Or Algol’s gonna get you.

 

ON LEOS: 

Gotta love Leo

*If you want to pat a Leo with Virgo planets on the back for achievement, make sure you pat their back exactly in the center. 

*Leos don’t sulk, they rant and rave while dramatically gesturing with their hands. They also pace around the room while doing this.

  

  

  

ON NEPTUNIANS: 

*Want to see what it feels like to be a Neptunian? Suspend your disbelief.

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  Neptune square Mercury

  *Neptune squares my Mercury: I’m not sure what I think about that.

*Neptunians find a perfect peg on which to hang their fantasies in Plutonians. These two types meet, interact and that is why so many bad love poems are written.

 *Spoken by a Venus-Neptune: I can give up a man I’m in love with, but not cigarettes.

 *Spoken by a Sun-opposition-Neptune in 1st and 7th when he was told to be careful about whom he trusts: I’ve had that issue, but some people are so tempting.

*If I told you I have Venus-square-Neptune, would you still respect me?

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  Neptune and Unrequited Love