I’ve noticed that I’m sensitive to the lunation phase and aspects of the transiting moon. A bad aspect it made to transiting Saturn was a day when I was in bed, exhausted, before 8 pm. A Balsamic phase made me feel decidedly uncomfortable. I’m a First Quarter and the Balsamic energy is just alien to me. I’ve recently discovered I adore the energy waves of a New Moon; and despite the brashness of the sign, I adore the times when a planet moves through Aries. On the other hand, I’m relatively insensitive to my personal transits and progressions. Perhaps it’s because they are broader trends and form the canvas on which the mood of the day paints its picture.
For the past two days, I’ve noticed that I’m on some sort of celebration trip where Leo is concerned. If you know me, you might dismiss this because you would know that my Sun is in Leo. But I’ve always identified more with my Moon sign and Ascendant than I have with my Sun. So it’s odd, this dipping into and exulting in my Leo-ness. Or is it? I was reading Toni Thomas on Facebook and she mentioned that Mars will be out of its retrograde shadow soon. So I checked: Mars is at 18 Leo 27’ now. It went retrograde at 19 Leo 42’ and by 18 May, 2010 it will be out of the retrograde shadow. It’s going to be on my natal Sun soon. In fact, it’s already well within conjunction orb.
::takes a deep breath::
It feels wonderful!
I was chatting with my Leo friend Art Grant today and thinking that only a Leo can truly understand another Leo. We ended up having a brief conversation about “being oneself” as opposed to “being fake.” I asked him, “What would be the point of anything, ANYTHING, if we couldn’t be ourselves?” If I can’t express what I am, what I have inside of me then what good does any success, any power do me? You know what my idea of heaven is? Where you can be yourself. That’s true liberation. That’s true freedom. And neither money, nor beauty or intelligence or power can give you that. But courage can, integrity can. You can. You can give it to yourself. It was always there to be claimed when you realized you wanted it.
My astrology teacher, Dawn Bodrogi, says that women come into their solar power when they’re about 36, at their third Jupiter return. I’ll be 36 in about a year’s time. If the transiting Mars on my Sun is a preview of what it feels like to claim my solar power, then even my despair at aging is not enough to make me wish that time would turn back.
As I sit here and write this, I know that the future is not going to be easy. Not for me, not for you. Because you know what? Life is not easy. It’s one helluva ride with its despairs, its heartbreaks and its goodbyes. Sometimes, even when you see disaster coming, there’s nothing you can do to stop it. Because there is only so much you can control, only so much you can influence or heal. And then impending waves of doom sweep over your world crushing all your cherished structures into rubble, leaving you sitting in their wake. Today, feeling my solar fire so strongly within me, I feel I can handle even that.
April Elliott Kent, Sun in Leo, is one of my favorite astrology writers. Not just because of her style. But because of her courage in sharing her truth through her work. She’s my “Leo the Braveheart.” Have you read her? Her writing is very powerful, very moving. Because her integrity shines through, because her heart is in what she says, and when someone writes like that you can feel what they felt when they wrote it. You want to be a popular writer? Just grab your heart, pull it out of your chest and offer it to the world. That’s all it takes.
The Cardinal Grand Cross is almost upon us and we’re headed for trying times. Better people than me have and are still writing about it, so if you want to know more, google “Cardinal Grand Cross.” If I have anything to say about it, I would say that no matter how winds of fate buffet you, hold onto your honor, your integrity. Clarify your code of ethics and then operate ethically. Whether you are powerful or seek power, now is the time to ask yourself why you seek that power. What will you serve if you are vested with power? If you are powerless or victimized, then take a stand and face the bully. They always back away, you know. And if comes down to a fighting match, then choose what you will do next. You can retreat or you can stay and fight. If you want a weapon, in my experience, the most powerful force on the planet is truth. It moves all before it. I’m not asking you to be a martyr. I’m just telling you what has worked for me and, perhaps, it will help you, too.
So with Mars energizing the sign of the Lion, the Lions are standing up and sharing their deepest values with you: truth, honor, integrity and courage. Next time you see a Leo go a bit over the top, remember that it takes great courage to do what they do: express themselves in the face of possible disapprobation, or worse, indifference. With their unbowed heads and their sincere hearts, the Lions are role models for us all. If you find yourself living in some kind of existential grayness and life has lost its spark, peel away the layers of fear and artifice that you’ve acquired over the years and find your true self. Like Art said today, “If I am fake, am I?”