Why don’t you come in? It’s warm here and the lights are low and the sounds muted. True, we can’t see clearly, but do you really care about that? Leave that harsh world and its unending demands behind. What do you need that for? The world is not going to care whether you lived or died or whether you were happy when you were living. You don’t need that. No one needs that.
You come here and you let me love you. Why are you surprised? You are infinitely beautiful and you were made to be loved. You don’t believe me? Then come here and look into me. This is how I see you and I see nothing but beauty. You’re lovely in all your moods, in all your moments, even the ones you are ashamed of. I see you cringe in shame, I see you bowed down in defeat, I see you twist yourself up in knots with your guilt, I see the pain in your eyes…and I love you more. So human. So half-divine.
I don’t always hear every word you say and I don’t always try and understand what you’re saying but it’s only because your voice makes the sweetest music as you speak. Yes, sometimes I get distracted when you talk and I don’t listen to what you say, but that’s because I am looking at your heart, that I find in your eyes, and I see what it’s feeling and I sense its hurts. You think what I say is random, but it not. I am not addressing what you say, I am addressing what you feel inside. Inside, out of sight.
You return to me again and again because no one ever truly lives unless they are seen and unless what is seen is loved and I have seen you. I have seen all your colors, all your shades, I have seen the dark and the light and I have loved it all. You know what love can be like? Imagine something brushing the deepest, the softest part of you. Brushing it gently, touching it lightly and smiling in the dark over it, smiling tenderly. Love can be like that. I have loved you like that.
I am loving you the most when I am not touching you. Because when you bring your soul, naked and defenseless, in my presence, I take it in my being. I touch it with my awareness in places you didn’t even know existed. I heal your wounds and you cry and you have never lived more than when you cry like that. I make you feel, I make you see what you wouldn’t have seen if you hadn’t come to me. I love you like this.
You can take everything I have said and dismiss it as unreal, as lies, as something that doesn’t matter. You can take everything I have done and cast it aside as immaterial, as useless. You can make this sacred if you choose, or you can besmirch it and make it profane. You can do whatever you want. You can go away. But I will haunt you in the stillness of your nights and I will haunt you in the brilliance of your days in those quiet spaces in time when your heart breathes. You will miss me. I will not stop you. Go then, but go knowing this: you will haunt me, too.
I will love you like this.
Note to Self: Transiting Mercury is at 27 Sag 01 exactly sextiling Neptune at 27 Aquarius 01.