I’m a First Quarter child. Don’t let my Pisces ASC fool you. I was born for and am always geared for battle, for action, for dealing with things. When things are at their worst, that’s when I get really calm, really effective. And when things go quiet, when the moon goes dark…I can’t deal with it. I can’t deal with the twelfth house, I don’t know how to surrender. I don’t know how to let go.
I’ve been reading posts on the upcoming New Moon in Pisces (in my twelfth, damn it)! And scowling at people talking about letting go, about rituals with water and a flower and a candle. I can’t do it, that’s not for me. This moon is probably as dark as gets for me since it’s in my twelfth. Not helped by the fact that it’s close to my progressed moon and hanging out with all those Pisces planets in the sky. How much twelfth house, dear God, and why?
But railing is no good. This is a time of waiting, of preparing, of letting go, of surrendering, of admitting defeat. A time of soul exhaustion and despair. But it isn’t a bad feeling, it isn’t the keen sharp stab of grief. It’s a gentle soul despair of seeing small deaths, of accepting various defeats.
I have said before the resilience of the human spirit amazes me. Mine, too. Because through it all, a voice, kind, loving speaks inside of me, to me. “Faith,” she says, “You must have faith. Out of the ruins of your present will rise your future. You cannot see it. You don’t know what it will be. But just as spring is round the corner, so is a new beginning. It does not matter if you are not feeling inspired now. Once again, soon, your soul will fill with inspiration and once again the flame in your heart will rise. Yes, it hurts that some flames are gone forever. Mourn now for what was and is no more because life is unstoppable.”
Life is like that. Unstoppable. Because birth is everywhere. New life, so potent, we’re all in love with it. You think not? Then why do we smile back at babies or have them? Because we think it’s a good thing to be born, to live, or why would we perpetuate it? So as we go through this dark moon in the last sign of the zodiac, wait, trust, have faith. There is a new birth, I swear. For you. For me. Its signs are here and there. But mostly they are in the whispers of your heart, in that loving voice that also speaks to you.
Mine is just a rant about the dark of the moon, if you want to read something wise, here’s something from Molly Hall: http://astrology.about.com/od/foundations/p/DarkMoon.htm