It’s the start of monsoons in Bangalore and it can’t get lovelier. It’s the kind of evening made for walking. So we went for a walk. I stepped out of the building literally covered from head to foot, wearing my specs, no make-up on and being aware of being stared at by a bunch of drivers hanging out near the cars. I am not hot, and apart from a few occasions, I’ve always been glad of it. I want most people to relate to me as if I am a person. Being started at makes me nervous and the way those drivers were doing it was downright threatening.
So as we walked I was telling my husband that most psychologists and feminists think that crimes against women, specifically rape, are about power and not lust. A friend of mine thinks that these can also be crimes of lust. My better half said the same, “Why generalize? Some are crimes of power and some are crimes of lust.” Then we spoke about generalizations and their advantages and disadvantages. He thinks that generalizations are dangerous and you must judge on a case by case basis. “But generalizations are also useful, they give you a framework, a philosophy with which to see the world. And then you can treat each situation on its own merit.” “Zen talks about constant alertness,” he said still anti-generalizations.
We went on in this vein for a while and discussed other examples and as we were coming home I realized, I was arguing for my ninth house north node. I came home feeling a lot better. I have been soul sick for two days and today I had a bad case of an allergy cold. This morning I was reading Dana Gerhardt’s article on the nodes in the TMA and, like many other astrologers, she says it’s not always easy walk the path towards your north node.
I live my South Node conjunct Mars very fully. I’m in operations and it’s a great fit. Processing new information, making quick decisions, getting them executed, and communicating with people. I love the hustle and bustle of operations. I live out my SN node in my personal life, too. I hang out only with people I really enjoy talking to, I write a lot of emails and I’m on Facebook a lot. I overdo my third house and it makes me soul sick. I don’t read, I don’t write, I don’t sit down and think, I don’t meditate.
But talking to my long-suffering husband on the way home, I figured out that the nodal axis works with both the houses. I draw in from my third: I absorb information, I talk, I listen, I learn words, discuss ideas. But for the process to be complete, for my soul not to get sick, I have to take in from my south, process and then produce from my ninth. I have to study, to sit, to meditate, to create frameworks with the information I get and view the world from that. If you saw my chart, you would be horrified. Everything is at war with everything else. It’s marked by a lot of energy, strong moods, high sensitivity and great irritability.
But today I realized if I operate from my north, I can manage my quick, harsh reactions better. I can look at things from a higher perspective, I can think in terms of patterns instead of emotionally exploding over instances. But this is my path. Your north node might be in the third and you may need to communicate more, think more in terms of specific cases.
You know that Picasso quote where he says, “I don’t seek. I find.” Lucky him. I’ve been telling my friends recently that I seek but do not find. I’m changing that today. I’m not going to tell myself I don’t find, I’m just going to say, “I seek.”
I know a young and very impressive astrologer, Michelle, who has written comprehensively about nodes in signs and houses. If you’d like to learn more about your nodal axis, you can check it out here.