Humor: A Mean Look at the Sun Signs

Disclaimer: The portrayal of sun signs in this post is a caricature. A rather vicious caricature. Sometimes a jab jolts us out of whatever unproductive rut we’ve fallen into and sometimes a jab is just gratuitous pain. Don’t read if you get offended easily. Yes, I know there is more to each sign…but today let’s jab a bit, shall we?

 

Pen dipped in Venom

ARIES

Stop shouting. No one thinks you are a leader because you go down the hallways shouting. People think you’re an obnoxious boor. One of these days you’ll go too far with the wrong person. We kind of hope you do. And don’t expect any flowers while you’re in the hospital.

 

 

 

 

 

TAURUS

You know why you don’t have any friends? No, the cows don’t count. Because you’re boring. And don’t tell me about those infernal pies you bake and the flowers you grow. Your stupid pies have made me fat and I’m allergic to flowers! Buddy, I got news for you, homo sapiens have something called the neo-cortex, it allows them to indulge in abstract thinking. No! It isn’t something you can eat!

GEMINI

I don’t care how many factoids you can rattle off in 10 seconds. Really. I don’t care. You may impress the peasants with your expansive vocabulary, but you don’t fool me. You’re not a wit, you’re a nit-wit who’s never had an original thought in his life. Oh, and if you think people forgive you for those thinly-veiled verbal barbs, think again. Now you know why your phone doesn’t ring and no one invites you for parties anymore.

CANCER

You know what you problem is? You’re self-centered. You’re the most self-centered person in this world. Now everyone caught on to that, and guess what? No one cares! No one cares that you’re feeling blue because when you were five your mommy wouldn’t let you have another slice of the pie. No one cares that your feelings are hurt because your best friend dumped you. No one wants to be friends with someone who’s always thinking about themselves and whining. All the time. About everything.

LEO

You stink. Your jokes stink, your clothes stink and so does your pathetic need for validation and approval. You think if you preen and strut and smile into people’s eyes, they’ll believe you’re awesome and like you? Well, people snicker behind your back. They feel sorry for someone who has to constantly blow their trumpet and then look over their shoulder to see if anyone noticed.

VIRGO

How many times do I have to tell you, the sky isn’t going to fall on our heads! Why don’t you help me instead of worrying? What? The glasses aren’t lining up exactly in the cupboard and you can’t help me put them away? What? They’re 0.5 centimeters off? No, I’m not going to put the knife down! Come here, I think I know how to fix what ails you!

LIBRA

Hey, you okay? You look a little blue. What? They ran out of your favorite nail color at the store? Gosh, really? You needed that exact shade of cerulean blue for your class today? What you studying, art? Oh, evolution of thinking in man? No, I have no idea why everyone in your class laughs at you behind your back.

SCORPIO

Why do you think your neighbor is practicing voodoo on you? You slept with his wife! Are you in love with her? No? Oh, I see you were testing your sexual magnetism. But what about maintaining a basic moral code? Oh, I think I understand when you say that conventional morality is for wimps. And, no, I don’t think planning to burn his house down because of the voodoo is the right thing to do!

SAGITTARIUS

I just read on Facebook that “Everybody wants to be found or to find.” What are you looking for? Oh, yeah, I guess you’ll know it when you see it. But don’t you think in the meantime you should get a job so you can pay the rent? No, I don’t think it’s “freaking funny” for a 49-year-old to try and get a job for the first time in his life.

CAPRICORN

Your clothes have nothing to do with you not getting membership to the country club. Why, that suit alone cost a bomb! You remember it took you months to save for it because you wanted nothing but designer labels in your wardrobe? Man, I remember that time! You were travelling that month and your wife and children lived on peanut butter sandwiches because you were saving up for another Armani. No, I don’t think it’s the clothes.

AQUARIUS

It’s all very well wanting to change the world by destroying current economic structures and social conventions. But have you thought of what you want to put in their place? Brotherhood and peace and saving-the-planet are great ideals, but how do you think you’re getting closer to realizing them by shaving your head, quitting your job and joining the Hare Krishna?

PISCES

I know you feel everyone’s pain and no one is saying that’s easy. But what about the pain your family feels when you’re out chasing another dream instead of contributing to the rent money, and the pain they feel when you drink and drink and drink to drown their pain, your pain, everyone’s pain… Yes, therapy is a good idea. In fact, I am your therapist. Have been for the last few months. Yes, I understand the black-outs. No, I don’t have anything alcoholic here.

Astrologer, Heal Thyself

“So I hear you want to write a funny post on your astrology blog.”

“Oh, yeah. I wrote this funny status message on Facebook that my friends liked, so I thought, why not?”

“What was your status?”

“Here you go: The Universe loves the Leos. I mean, what choice does it have if it wants some peace and quiet?

It’s a comical take on Leos, but it’s also an acknowledgment of my own Leonine needs and weaknesses. I’ve recently begun to understand and work with my Leo side because of some insights I got from reading Steven Forrest’s The Inner Sky. It’s a basic, introduction-to-astrology book. But it just blew my mind. It’s been years since I found anything new to learn in a beginner’s book, especially one that covers sun signs.

About the book and me, there’s a story I want to share. I’d been hearing a lot about this book. In fact, both Michael O’Rielly and Vinessa Nevala told me to read Mr. Forrest. And then one day, bam! Beth Turnage sent me two of his books.

I’m still not done with The Inner Sky, I’ve just read the section on sun signs (the book also covers planets and houses), but I got so much from even that. As a sun in Leo, I’ve never been very thrilled with anything I’ve read about the sign. But Mr. Forrest’s words about Leo were very healing for me.

I have a Scorpio moon, so there’s always a conflict with the Leo energy. On the one hand, I’m very Leo: very expressive, very extroverted. On the other, I guard my privacy fiercely. I’m uncomfortable with people invading my personal spaces and don’t always say what I think or feel. I’ve read that the square between the sun and moon causes people to be moody and have problems in their relationships. Well, yeah! They’re having problems with themselves and if you’re not at peace with yourself, you’re not going to be experience peace with others.

Leo (Picture courtesy San Diego Zoo)

Mr. Forrest says this in his Leo chapter, ‘Leo refers to the development of the ego, not its transcendence. The Lion must accept the essential absurdity of the ego, then revel in it, let ego flow unselfconsciously into the world. He must wear a plaid shirt with purple pants and walk down the street whistling. And if people stare, he must whistle louder. To perform for the world is to trust it. The unquestioning trust of life is Leo’s holy grail. All the creativity, all the warmth, all the playfulness and drama of this sign are simply methods used to attain that goal. Anything inside should appear on the outside. And if the Lion has really arrived he is not concerned with the reviews.’

I found this very healing. Liberating, if you will. Especially this part, ‘To perform for the world is to trust it.’ With my Scorpio moon, I’m not the most trusting of people. And although I have a Pisces ASC and faith comes easily in the greater forces of reality, trusting people is not easy. Oh, something funny about that. I was talking to the German astrologer Michael Ax and I asked him for his birth data, apologizing for being so intrusive. He was kind enough to give it and asked me if I would share mine. I told him, and I really mean this, that the only people I trust are astrologers.

And you know what? It’s true. I think it’s tied to my Mars-Moon opposition in the third and ninth. Who can you speak your truth to and not be attacked? Because I’ve been having problems in this area lately. So, I’ve been trying to understand and reach some kind of resolution here. Astrologer, heal thyself. That’s my new mantra. Astrology is such a great tool for self-understanding. Once you have self-understanding, you can begin to work towards self-acceptance; with acceptance comes inner peace and, hopefully, it shows up in your interactions with others.

Another thing I’ve been struggling with is my Uranus-Saturn-Jupiter T-Square. Oh, yeah, a lot of work to be done there. For me, it’s how to balance my innate Uranian side with my need to be accepted as a regular, or conventional person, by my friends. Donna Cunningham says that the person who suppresses his Uranian side then defies convention by indulging in small personal rebellions against conventionality and tradition. And, boy, is this true of me. I make plans to take care of stuff so that I can blend in with “normal” people. And that’s good because it will bring me relief, I won’t stick out like a sore thumb. But at the same time, there is a great feeling of rebellion that surges up in me and a desire to belittle and scorn conventional mores. A desire to destroy social constructs that have me chained. And I know if I don’t use this energy well, it will come out in vicious words and alienate my “friends.”

And humor helps with this kind of inner work. Squares have you trapped. What can you do about it? Well, you joke and laugh and write about it and, hopefully, some of that emotional charge gets used up.”

“Ah, you’re talking about reconciling contradictory parts of ourselves. Not an easy thing.”

::sighs:: “No, it’s not. I was angst-ing about it recently and Canadian astrologer and researcher par excellence Nick Dagan Best gave me some good advice about my placements. He said, ‘It’s the Leo-Virgo internal battle. Like most adjacent signs, they are incongruent and difficult to mitigate. The trick is to think of Leo and Virgo as your two legs and always follow a step with one by a step with the other. You’ll never win by trying to “overcome” one by overemphasizing the other. You aren’t meant to settle on one option, you were literally born to bounce between the two.’ I liked what he said. You can apply this understanding to any placement or signs in your chart. In the end, it’s all about being true to yourself. But we’re complex creatures with conflicting inner needs. I don’t know if we’ll ever really be completely content with ourselves but I know we’ve got to try.

***

“Oh, my what a serious discussion this has turned out to be. We started with you wanting to write about humor and now we’re talking about healing.”

“Well, that’s astrology for you. Especially with me. My Jupiter conjuncts Chiron and I adore making people laugh. But there’s often pain and healing involved in it. I think I learn and teach this way. I have a long way to go still, and if you’re looking for some great teachers and thinkers on astrology then I heartily recommend Kelly Lee Phipps’s documentary Return of the Magi. Among others, it has a brilliant interview with Dr. Richard Tarnas, the author of Cosmos and Psyche.

If you want both humor and understanding, then head off and visit Michael Lutin and Matthew Currie.

These are wonderful people, doing important work. They all approach the subject in a different manner: some are serious researchers, like Dr. Tarnas and Nick Dagan Best and some are some like Michael and Matt, make us laugh when they teach us difficult truths.

 ***

“How’s your astrology study coming along?’

“I still have to work out a study schedule and approach it in a more methodical manner. I have some great books on predictive astrology. I’ve read them, but now I have to study them. I need to roll up my sleeves and get to work. I have high standards when it comes to learning and that’s half the problem. You set goals that require hard work, they start looking daunting and you run. So I’ve been skirting around the edge of getting down to it.

In the meantime, I’m still reading a lot and discovering new stuff on the Net all the time. One of the best new blogs for advanced and serious students is Dawn Bodrogi’s The Inner Wheel. If you look at my astrology blogroll you’ll find some great astrology writers, but what sets Dawn’s blog apart is that it’s a teaching blog. I call mine a learner’s blog: I share what I’m learning. But what Dawn’s doing is taking the learning and insights of a lifetime of experience as an astrologer and putting then down in a format that’s ideal for students. It’s a great gift for those of us who’re still learning.

***

“Thanks for sharing that. Any last words?’

“You’re welcome. And, yes, a few quotes that I love for all those Neptunians out there:

He drew a circle that shut me out
Heretic, rebel, a thing to flout
But love and I had the wit to win;
We drew a circle that took him in.
-Edwin Markham

***

Say, it’s only a paper moon
Sailing over a cardboard sea
But it wouldn’t be make-believe
If you believed in me

Yes, it’s only a canvas sky
Hanging over a muslin tree
But it wouldn’t be make-believe
If you believed in me

Without your love
It’s a honky-tonk parade
Without your love
It’s a melody played in a penny arcade

It’s a Barnum and Bailey world
Just as phony as it can be
But it wouldn’t be make-believe
If you believed in me.

-E. Y. Harburg and Billy Rose

 

P.S. Leo, express yourself, eh? Not easy. Already got criticized for this post by someone in my family who said that nobody wants to know what I think or about my placements. Well, I’m keeping it online nonetheless. ::gulp::

Venus in Scorpio: 9, November 2009 – 1 December, 2009

November is turning out to be quite a month with Sun, Mercury and Venus in Scorpio. All that passion and intensity is a good way to offset this winter month in the northern hemisphere. Venus enters the water sign of Scorpio on 9 November, 2009 and while it is there, it teaches us that love is also passion, passion is also torment and sometimes torment is transmuted into death and transformation. Now, why would someone talk about death and transformation when they talk of Venus? Isn’t Venus about love and romance and all those other nice things? Yes, she is. But Scorpio is the sign of her “fall” and she faces certain challenges when she’s in this sign. 

If you want to understand Venus in Scorpio, think of Shakespeare’s Othello and Romeo and Juliet. Both are love stories, but they seethe with jealousy, passion and violence. Both end in death and tragedy. Relax, if you or your love interest have this placement it doesn’t mean that you will encounter the same gory end. But these stories will give you an idea of what this energy is about when it is operating at its maximum and is out of control. Handled with care, there is nothing to worry about.

Venus in Scorpio people don’t want a safe, comfortable-as-old-shoes kind of love. There is nothing casual about their approach to love and romance. When it comes to love, they want to plumb the depths, they want to soar and touch the sky. They don’t fall for someone gently and write sweet little ditties. When they love, they love deeply, passionately, obsessively. This quote from the Song of Solomon will give you an idea of what you’re dealing with, “Set me as a seal upon thine heart, as a seal upon thine arm: for love is strong as death; jealousy is cruel as the grave.” It could have been written for people with Venus in Scorpio.

Receiving a love of like this is great gift. If this kind of intensity is not for you; if you like it free and easy, then don’t engage their affections. Not only is it cruel to toy with their emotions, but it’s bad karma for you. But if you want a love that’s out of the ordinary, a love that’s mythic, that will fill the empty corners of your heart, you would do well to woo the regard of these enigmatic and magnetic creatures.

Annie Lennox: Venus in Scorpio

A friend of mine with this placement shared a song that describes Venus in Scorpio for her: Annie Lennox’s Love Song for a Vampire. Have you heard it? It’s drenched with longing; here are some of the lyrics:

The rhythm of this trembling heart
It’s beating like a drum
It beats for you, it bleeds for you

Annie Lennox knows what she’s signing about. This intense musician has her Venus in Scorpio natally. She’s also written and performed popular numbers like Walking on Broken Glass and Why. Both are love songs, but both deal with the darker themes of jealously, betrayal and despair. Scorpio passion, if not well directed, can wreack great emotional havoc on everyone involved. It’s not an energy that you should treat lightly. Treat it with the respect and reverence it deserves and chances are you’ll have found a love that will last a lifetime.

So let’s see what this transit has in store for us: On the day of her ingress into Scorpio, Venus forms a lovely sextile with Pluto in Capricorn. It’s a day for soul love. Feelings will run deep and true on this day. Make the most of it, because on 18 November, Venus squares the flamboyant Leo Mars and sparks are bound to fly. Try and keep it calm if you can. Jealousy and selfishness are the worst ways to deal with this strong energy.

Venus leaves Scorpio for some fun and adventure in Sagittarius on 1 December, 2009. But before that she squares Jupiter, Chiron and Neptune (all in Aquarius) in the last week of November. The Jupiter square that becomes exact on 23 November might tempt you into overindulgence in either love or spending. The Chiron square on the 25^th and Neptune square on the 27^th are days you should watch out for. Chiron deals with wounds and healing. Is there an old love that you’ve been unable to let go of? Well, now is a good time to lay it to rest. The square to Neptune will try and entice you with a vision of what can be: be careful, things are not as they seem. Stick to the facts and you will save yourself the pain of disillusionment.

For all the Scorpios out there: enjoy this month when a lot of celestial energy is focused on you. Moreover, Venus is gracing you with her charm: pamper yourself, add something lovely to your wardrobe and enjoy the attention you’re bound to get.

Confessions of an Astro Nerd

Sun in Leo, in the Sixth

There are many information-rich posts waiting to be written. But I want to do a good job, so, of course, I procrastinate. In the meantime, I sent a message to my friend Evelyn Roberts and the subject line read, “Confessions of an Astro Nerd.” What a good title for a blog post, I says to myself. So here are some of mine. Send me some of your and I’ll add them to this post.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

• My Moon is in Scorpio. In its fall. I don’t care. I love my intense Moon. Intensely, of course.
• My Venus falls in Virgo. I think I’m envious of people with a strong, happy Venus. Okay, I might be jealous of them. Fine, I’m jealous!
• When I look at someone’s chart, anyone’s, the first thing I see is how it links with mine. I have a friend whose axes are so strongly connected to mine that I have difficulty getting past that and actually seeing her chart.
• The nodes of the Moon fascinate me. I don’t know why. I suspect it is because my natal chart has Mars conjunct the south node and Moon conjunct the North.
• There are two kinds of people in the world for me: astrologers and non-astrologers. I’ve recently heard the latter referred to as “civilians,” and “muggles.” I like using “civilians.”
• Astrology proves the existence of a greater design. Of a Higher Mind. Think about it a bit, it proves the existence of a Higher Force. ::She whispers, “Of God.”::
• There’s enough Virgo-Scorpio in me to find a good use for everything. Even my grief. You’d think I love astrology so much because it’s so useful. Nope. I just love it. It’s the only love in my life that’s inexplicable.
• I know one of the purposes of my life is to promote astrology. I’ve got enough Jupiter to do it, too. Yeehaw!
• I did my masters in psychology and I agree with Dr. Glenn Perry that psychology and astrology need to combine.
• I fantasize about a place where everyone is dressed in white robes. It’s a university. (It’s a planet, actually. But I didn’t want to say that.) And where astrology and healing are taught. I want to go there. It’s probably my Neptune in the ninth in Sagittarius.

 

P.S. I love you.

  

P.P.S. When I wrote this, Tr Moon was exactly conjunct my natal Moon.

Difficult Transits, Hope and Jupiter Direct

Hello my Fellow Traveler,

How’s it going for you? Difficult transits? Yeah, me too.

::sigh::

Chiron’s been opposing the ruler of my sixth house: my dog died last month and my cat’s not well. Cat wouldn’t allow me to take him to the vet; and when the good doctor came home, he wouldn’t allow the tired man to do an examination. Now Cat’s hiding in my cupboard (even though that’s forbidden territory) and I’m exhausted.

The Chiron opposition is not all that ails me. I believe the current sky’s making a grand cross in my chart: there’s trouble everywhere I turn. And I’m standing in the midst of all these swirling currents and I’m tired. And humbled. That’s another thing tough transits do for you: they humble you. Face something you can’t control, like illness, and you have to let go. I don’t mean don’t get treatment. Do all the right things. But you know that it’s out of your hands. That Life, God, the Universe, whatever you call it, is bigger than you. And there are some things that can’t be changed, they have to be endured. And that you can’t figure everything out, that sometimes you just have to accept it, whatever it is. Am I sounding very Neptunian and defeatist? I don’t mean to.

I don't know the flower associated with Jupiter, but I love the Jacaranda and the color works.

Sometimes, surrender is the answer. Acceptance is the answer. Humility and owning our limitations is the answer. Allowing pain to flow through our life is the answer. I don’t mean you should curl up and die. My Jupiter in Aries trines my Sun and my faith is strong. But in the meantime, I also know that I have to go through this process. Without getting bitter, without resenting it, without attacking other people. Without humility, without accepting that we still have some learning to do, no learning can occur. How can it if you block it the learning by saying that you know everything?

Have you read about Edgar Cayce and his work? He was a healer and he worked while he was in a trance state. There are transcript of what was channeled. Many of these transcripts detail what was said through him about people he was diagnosing. People with paralysis or very debilitating diseases. The health or the dis-ease of the body was linked to a person’s spiritual development. Spiritual, not in the sense of God or religion, but in terms of being kind, forgiving and well-intentioned towards others. About people seeking to regain their health, there were times when the Guides said, “There is no development in kindness, in giving to others. If this person regains his health, what is he going to do with it?” (This is not verbatim, but I hope it conveys some of the meaning of what was said.)

Without internal growth, the body atrophies. Because you can have health, wealth, power, beauty, intelligence…but what are you using it for you? Have you mastered your jealousy, pettiness, greed, selfishness? Total mastery can be quite a task. But awareness is a beginning. Self-aggrandizement is no sin, neither is reaching out for more and better. But what about your spiritual currency? I see powerful examples, amongst people I love, of spiritual bankruptcy. In wanting more, they despise what they do have. In wanting to achieve, they disparage what they have achieved so far. People are either richer than them, or more educated or from a better bloodline or the opposite. They feel inferior while thinking of the former and treat the latter with disdain. Simple pleasures are ignored and they seek a “high” through artificial means. When you’re hollow inside, you can drink as much as you want, but nothing will fill that gaping hole where you were meant to flower.

And people do flower, even during difficult transits. Perhaps, especially during these. When times are tough and you’re plodding along trying to cope, just trying to survive, you can learn a lot. Especially empathy and kindness. This text from the Bible comes to mind:

If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not charity, I am become sounding brass, or a clanging cymbal.

And if I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not charity, I am nothing.

And if I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and if I give my body to be burned, but have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.

-1 Corinthians 13:1

Some versions of the Bible use “love” instead of “charity.” But I prefer “charity.” I mean that in the nicest way: a feeling that is a blend of kindness and giving.

There was one more thing I wanted to mention today. Grace. Yeah, it’s a tough transit and, yeah, you’re going through a rough time. But one of the gifts of astrology is the reassurance that even this shall pass. And you’ll come out on the other side. But what will you be once you emerge? Will you be wiser, kinder, determined to use your power (we all have some) well? Or will you emerge from it bitter, full of hate and resentment, determined to get what you want at any cost? At anyone’s cost? What will this do to your relationships? Don’t shake your head: we need healthy relationships to have a fulfilling life. And your inner choices and feelings will determine the health of these relationships.

So whether Pluto is squaring your Venus or Saturn conjuncting your Sun, what you become is up to you. You have Free Will there. And hidden amongst the folds of your decisions is Grace, that mysterious force that blesses us with goodness.

If I hadn’t gone to my friend Hitch’s blog this evening, I wouldn’t have noticed that Jupiter has gone direct today. And Jupiter is wisdom. Is faith. I’ll end with another quote from the Bible and, even if you are not a Christian, I hope these words help you:

O woman, great is thy faith: be it unto thee even as thou wilt.

Well, that’s all for me. Didn’t meant to get on my soapbox. But it’s Jupiter, you know?

God be with you,

Neeti

P.S. And for all you astro-buffs out there, while I was writing this the transiting Moon was conjunct my natal Sun exactly, the MC of the event chart (when I was mid-way with this post) was the exact degree of my ASC. Oh, and in the event chart, Jupiter was conjunct the cusp of the ninth house.

Venus in Libra :: 15 October, 2009 – 8 November, 2009

Venus moves into Libra on 15 October, 2009. With the Sun and Mercury already in Libra and Saturn moving in to join the action on 30 October, 2009 there is a growing emphasis on this sign and its energy at this time.

But first let’s take a look at how Venus fares when she’s in Libra. Since she’s the natural ruler of Libra, Venus does rather well in this sign and so do people who are born with this placement. Venus, along with Jupiter, is considered a ‘benefic” in astrology. Translated into simple English it means Venus exerts a favorable influence and bestows the gifts of beauty and material benefits on her favored ones. Financial benefits accruing due to Venus’ influence are not the lucky largesse that Jupiter showers, rather they take the form of gifts and favors that others confer on her charming children.

There is no doubt about it, Venus in Libra people are charming. They are also good-looking, well-dressed and possessors of a keen sense of aesthetics. A man with this placement recently told me that perfection in objects is achieved when form combines with utility. People with a strong Venus are very aware of “form” or appearance. They also have deep need for beauty in their environment. Oscar Wilde (Sun and Venus in Libra) said, “Beauty is a form of genius – is higher, indeed, than genius, as it needs no explanation. It is of the great facts in the world like sunlight, or springtime, or the reflection in dark water of that silver shell we call the moon.”

If you are inclined to be prosaic, this constant emphasis on beauty can begin to seem both annoying and superficial. But before you leap to a hasty conclusion and write off these folks as people who are obsessed with just appearances and pretty clothes, please remember that Libra is a cerebral Air sign that also strives for harmony and balance in both its environment and in its social interactions. When it comes to love and relationships, Venus in Libra looks for a partner who can grace their life with both beauty and with intellectual companionship. They themselves make perfect companions with their beautiful manners, refined tastes and the importance they place on fairness in their interactions.

Perhaps Oscar Wilde is right after all. It’s never wise to underestimate the power beauty exerts over us all. Take Richard Gere (Venus in Libra). This is what Wikipedia says about him, “At age 52, with wavy silver hair and granny glasses perched on the end of his nose, he was included in the People magazine’s ‘sexiest man alive’ roster.” Richard’s Venus is exactly conjunct Neptune and in a T-Sqaure with Jupiter and Uranus thus explaining his global popularity as a major Hollywood star.

Librans can expect to enjoy a period of enhanced popularity and charisma during this transit which lasts till 8 November, 2009. It’s pretty interesting for the rest of us as well. The Venus ingress into Libra on 15 October begins with a square to Pluto in Capricorn. Even if you are a normally calm person, don’t be surprised if this day finds you experiencing feelings of jealousy and possessiveness. Emotions run high and if you manage to stay detached, you may face these feelings in other people. But after that it’s pretty much smooth sailing with Venus going on to trine Jupiter in Aquarius on 29 October, 2009. This is a good day for indulging yourself and for expressing your generosity to others. Make the most of it. On 1 November, 2009 Venus trines Chiron in Aquarius and this day give us an opportunity to heal wounds in our romantic relationships and, if we have experienced wounding there, to reaffirm our own attractiveness. Venus moves into the deep waters of Scorpio on 9 November, 2009. But before she does so, she forms a trine on 3, November, 2009 with retrograde Neptune that’s currently transiting in Aquarius. It’s an great day for day-dreaming about perfect love. As long as you are aware that during this time, you will be inclined to see things through rose-colored glasses, you will do just fine.

Be the Astrologer You Want to Be, Not the One You Should Be

Jeffery Kishner is multi-dimensional: he’s a trained counselor, an astrologer and the editor of one of the Internet’s most popular astrology sites, Sasstrology. If you want the truth, go to Jeff: he tells it like it is. And in this guest post, he shares the trials and rewards of being an astrologer.

 

I don’t know about you, but I have an image of the ideal professional astrologer, and how she prepares for readings. She prepares a complex graph that includes transits, eclipses, stations, secondary progressions and solar arc directions, noting the “key dates” in which important events are likely to occur in a client’s life. Then she meditates on the natal chart, allowing the “themes” to speak to her on an intuitive level, and then looks for “testimony” to support her gut feelings. Then, at the start of the actual consultation, she invokes a few spirits and lights a candle to create a “sacred space” so that the goddess can guide her and her client to wisdom.

Me? I hate preparing for readings. I cannot think of a more boring task, other than reading each and every item posted by people I don’t know in my Facebook news feed. However, I enjoy the actual counseling work when I’m conversing with my client about her chart. If only I could just waltz into a session without doing any preparation I would, but I know that I’d do a half-ass job and do my client a disservice.

So what do I do? I force myself to look at every delineation in the natal chart – at least the Ptolemaic aspects and the ten planets – and look at transiting hard aspects from Saturn through Pluto. And then I’ll throw in a few eclipses for good measure, and just check to see if there’s something really important going on in the progressed chart.

That alone is torture, yet I still feel that it is not enough. But guess what? I don’t honestly think I need more than that for my purposes – because the astrologer I want to be is one who focuses on what really matters.

What really matters is, of course, a matter of opinion. For me, it’s that my client leaves the session feeling she has a deeper understanding of some of her core issues, and that she feels she has some tools to help her navigate upcoming changes in her life. And possibly even more important, that she feels heard and understood – because I’m an astrological counselor, not just an astrologer.

Perhaps I will always be hard on myself, comparing myself to some idealized version of the perfect astrologer. However, I also know that going through some punishing preparation routine so that I can feel over-prepared will only lead to resentment, which may rub off on my client. Therefore, I do what I feel is necessary, and no more.

Which is probably just the right amount.

 

About the Author: Jeffrey Kishner is editor/publisher of Sasstrology. He is a regular contributor at AOL Horoscopes, and occasionally does consultations. You can learn more about him at jeffreykishner.com.

Astrological Ramblings: Jupiter

 

A "weak" Jupiter is like a sad clown

Tee asked me recently, with his characteristic gentle concern, “What do I do about my debilitated Jupiter?” Tee’s Jupiter in 29 Capricorn. I’d told him a while back that my friend Matthew Currie says that a person with such a Jupiter may find it hard to be happy and may go to unusual lengths to find happiness. That’s certainly been true for Tee and his excesses have left him rather debilitated.

His question lead to an animated discussion and I told him that I’ve often wanted to write on “weak” planets (planets that are debilitated or in their fall in a chart) and what we can do about them. “What can one do?,” he asked. “Well, if you have a planet that’s ‘weak’ in your chart, you should honor it in your life. It’s weak because it can’t express itself properly. Take Jupiter. What is Jupiter about?” “Teachers,” he said knowledgeably, “gurus.” “Yes. But also generosity and enthusiasm and kindness and optimism and plain blind luck. It’s also about giving. It’s kind. You don’t have to give things. It’s also about generosity of spirit. I think first you need to understand Jupiter. Read about it. Then honor him in your life, every day or every hour or once a week or whenever the spirit moves you.”

Not an unusual conversation. Unless you know Tee. He’s not into astrology. At all. So it was rather surprising that he and I were talking about Jupiter. Intrigued, I decided to do a horary for the time he asked me the question. I told him since we were talking about Jupiter, chances were that Jupiter would be strongly placed in the horary chart, on the ASC or the MC. As a matter of fact, when he asked me this question, Jupiter was conjunct the MC exactly!

Uranus and Your Career :: Guest Post :: Donna Cunningham

Powerful writers shape minds. Subject matter experts lead the way. Donna Cunningham is both. It’s a rare and potent combination; and in the world of astrological writing Ms. Cunningham is right there on the top. Countless number of people have been helped and healed by her words and her insights. Students of astrology devour her books and will continue to do so in the years to come. Printed below, with her permission, is a piece on Uranus from her book Outer Planets as Career Indicators.

Precocious children have been known to tell their parents, “you’re not the boss of me,” but individuals with Uranus in the career houses of the astrology chart may adopt this as a life-long motto. Some wear it on greasy tee shirts along with other rude sayings, while others deign to wear suits but carry the attitude around in their pockets, ready to whip it out at any challenge.

Brighter than most people around them, typical Uranians easily grow bored and restless, and unless new challenges constantly present themselves, they can create an uproar in the workplace for the sheer excitement of it. Many of them gain the reputation of being mavericks who are unpredictable, erratic, or difficult. Because they’re almost impelled to speak out about things that are wrong, they’re often seen as troublemakers. They question authority and object—none too tactfully—when standard operating procedures on the job are irrational, inequitable, or unjust.

Uranians can have a superiority complex—sometimes even a justified one—but those who cross the line into arrogance are likely to create friction with bosses and coworkers. They inherently feel the rules don’t apply to them, for after all they’re special. Surprisingly often, they get away with it, for they appeal to our too-frequently-suppressed Inner Outlaw, and we live vicariously through their escapades.

Uranians’ resumes tend to be full of mysterious gaps that give job interviewers the willies, and their references tend to be friends or colleagues rather than past employers. They tend to change jobs frequently and suddenly, particularly when bosses clamp down on them.  Transiting Uranus is often the impetus for their vocational shifts, for it increases the restlessness and the need to adhere to their own authority rather than rather than former supervisors. However, they’re seldom jobless for long unless they want to be, because they’re usually so bright at what they do that they dazzle potential employers into ignoring the personnel officer’s “red flags” of warning. (They’re also inventive enough to come up with plausible reasons for their spotty job history.)

Over time, they tend to change careers as well, when they no longer find their old field challenging enough or when technology evolves in interesting new directions. They get bored with what they’re doing and move on. Alternately, the trend changes and their fifteen minutes of fame are up, and they’re back on the path of exploration and experimentation that characterizes their work life.

Who are the Uranians? They’re people who have Uranus or the sign Aquarius strong in their birth charts, especially with strong aspects from Uranus to the Sun, Moon, Ascendant or Midheaven or 8° either side of the Ascendant, Midheaven, IC, or Descendant. These factors are stronger if Uranus aspects a number of the personal planets or is in a major configuration like a t-square or grand trine, or if there is a stellium of three or more planets in the sign Aquarius. Such combinations make them Uranian in nature, but might primarily affect their personal lives. (If you’re new to astrology and don’t understand the technical parts but identify with what has been said so far, chances are you’re Uranian.)

For a direct impact on vocational potential, these placements would generally need to be in the 10th, 2nd, or 6th houses or conjunct, square, opposite, or trine the Midheaven and would also need to be prominent in some of the ways mentioned above. If the chart has only Aquarius on the Midheaven or on the cusp of the 2nd or 6th houses but none of the factors mentioned above, the individual may not fit the picture I am describing. The likelihood of a match increases with the number of these factors in the chart.

About the Author:  Donna Cunningham is an internationally-respected author of books, articles, and columns about astrology, flower essences and other metaphysical topics. Her insights reflect her dual background in astrology and psychotherapy. She has a Master’s degree in Social Work from Columbia University and over 40 years of experience in working with people. Her ebooks can be found at Moon Maven Publications (http://www.moonmavenpublications.com) Visit her blog at http://skywriter.wordpress.com.

Picture from Wikimedia Commons

Where’s the Fire?

Where’s the fire? Well, there isn’t any. That’s the problem.

Have you looked at the sky? All the planets and both the luminaries are currently in Earth, Water and Air signs. In case you’re interested, here’s the break-up:

 

 

 

Air = Sun, Jupiter, Neptune and Chiron
Earth = Moon, Pluto, NN, Mercury, Venus and Saturn
Water = Mars and Uranus

The Moon is cruising through Capricorn right now and will have to go through Aquarius and Pisces before it enters Aries on 4 October, 2009. Thank God for that! I don’t think I can survive without Fire for too long. No other element gives a zest for life like Fire does.

It’s the same with people. Because of my natal Water moon, when it comes to romance, I tend to gravitate towards the water signs. And my Taurus and Virgo planets can’t enough admire the dependable Earth signs. But I adore my Fire sign friends. Yes, they’re loud and raucous. A bit over-the-top and damnably self-involved. But they’re so alive. Things light up when a Fire sign is around. Which probably explains their popularity.

Right now with nothing in Fire, we have a very unbalanced sky. I don’t know how it is for you, but for me there’s something missing. It’s the joie de vivre that Fire bestows. But don’t lose hope, I got some good news. Mars moves into Leo on 17 October, 2009. Woo-hoo! I think. Because it stays in Leo for almost eight months! Till early June, 2010. Which ought to be good for Aries and Sagittarius. But I wonder how it’ll play out the fixed signs, especially people with personal planets in the last decanate of Leo, Scorpio and Taurus. With Jupiter Neptune and Chiron hanging out in the third decanate of Aquarius, it hasn’t been easy for the Lion, the Scorpion or the Bull. What happens when you add Mars to the mix? I don’t know, but it won’t be dull!